I was pondering how it is that this bacteria can take over women’s bodies so easily. Then it dawned on me…breadstick abuse. That’s right. I am calling all of you out for using your breadsticks in lieu of a B.O.B. Their warm stick-like shape is just too tempting for you to resist.
Continue readingCapri pants are the new mom jeans. People hate me for this one. My theory is that if my 80-year-old mother wore them….well connect the dots. Really, if you’re shorter than 5’10 and fatter than 150, it doesn’t do you … Continue reading
When eating out with someone who accidentally blurts out something sexual, laugh really loud. Then pretend that you’re talking about Fifty Shades of Grey while uncontrollably giggling…down there. This way, the blond behind you that rudely turned around and stared can go back … Continue reading
If I go missing, please don’t put my picture on a milk carton. Please put it on a bottle of wine. Lady or Not…Here I Come … Continue reading
Tuesday night I went out to dinner with a friend. We ended up with a super hot waitress. I commented to my friend that the waitress looked off but I couldn’t put my finger on the reason. He suggested that … Continue reading
Imagine sitting in an auditorium. You are perfectly happy in your bored coma, when suddenly you hear a clap. You look up to see the person next to you clap again with a head shake. Your ears recoil in anticipation as he draws … Continue reading
If you’re going to insist on having a unibrow then I am going to insist on plucking them while you sleep. Seriously people! Don’t you look in the mirror? Don’t you know that when people see you they want … Continue reading
Names have been left out of this post to protect the people involved in the story. A couple of years ago my book club was sitting around drinking wine at the end our discussion. As with everywhere I go, the subject … Continue reading
Dear ladies of the gym, I appreciate that you enjoy being ogled by the opposite sex. You want to be unique like the other 8 thousand woman who look like you. I understand gyms are a great place to pick up … Continue reading
Leggings are not pants. You may need to rethink your relationship with our elasticised friends….especially if they are nude. Lady or Not….Here I come … Continue reading