Did you ever play that game as a teenager? While other teenagers were playing spin the bottle I was playing games at church. I was the type of teen that would go to church every day of the week they had an event open. This game came into my mind today. One player would sit in the person’s lap or kneel before them and say those words and they have not laugh. You all must be doing this to me.
Here is the deal, my lovely readers, when I call someone darlin’ or love…well it is a word of affection. I am a southerner. That is what we do. Bless your heart can mean f-you or it can mean I am sorry to hear that. Love, darlin’, sweetie, and so on are just part of our daily vocabulary.
I tell you this so that you will quit throwing yourself at me. I don’t want your smelly stinky stained underpants because I called you love. I also don’t need marriage proposals, sonnets, or taxidermied animals. If you want to give me something, cash is good though the purchase of said items listed in previous posts.
I might say things like, “Love, your muffin top has turned into a can of biscuits.” This isn’t a declaration of my undying love for you. I might say, “Darlin’ those pants make your butt look like two pigs fighting when you walk.” Again, not a proposal for friends with benefits.
In conclusion, you will never get to hit this but I love you.
Lady or Not…Here I Come!