My fat season lasts from the first day that it is remotely chilly (65ºF or lower) until the first day where it warms up here in Texas. What? I used the word “fat”? Yep I did. I own it…I dare you to give me a hard time about it. I embrace my fat season, and I hope you all do too.
The first day of the season, I make some sort of homemade soup. (When I say homemade, I mean boiling chicken bones until you get chicken stock, etc.) You can’t have homemade soup without homemade bread. Then what is chicken soup and bread without a nice warm fresh cobbler? See where I am going here? (Did I mention I’m an amazing cook…makes ya wanna slap your mamma good)
As soon as this happens, the Halloween decorations slowly begin to appear. That means the glass pumpkins have be filled with candy bars, candy corn (which if you don’t eat by color you’re a freak), and m&ms. A few of these find their way into my mouth somehow. I am not sure how. I suspect Prince Harry or Obama use their invisibility cloaks to put them in. I certainly don’t sit on my a$$ while writing, eating all the crap I can find to stuff in my face, and drinking copious amounts of vodka. Until then I am going to embrace my Season of Fat.
I’m not eating them…I’m just having fun.
What? I just like lollipops!
uhhh Prince Harry gave it to me!
Okay it might be a problem
But really I don’t have a choice. I am supposed to be making my children’s childhoods memorable. I’ll make special treats, and then I will stop eating like this after Halloween….oh wait Thanksgiving. Well I HAVE to eat bad then. It would be impolite to my family and friends to go on a diet in November. I guess I could at the beginning of November. Wait…no my sister needs me to eat cake on her birthday. Yep, I can’t do it until after Thanksgiving. Until then I am going to embrace my Season of Fat.
Once Thanksgiving is over, I am in the clear. Let me tell you, it will be a relief to not sit down and feel the fat start to roll. If I get it under control now, it won’t be an issue. What did you say? Oh Christmas that’s right! I have cookies to bake. Caramel corn to make. I need to go to all the parties I’m invited to, and as I am all about manners, I should eat a little of everything served. I will start my diet on New Years. Well, the day after. It will be a relief when I don’t have to wonder if the button of my jeans will close or not. Until then I am going to embrace my Season of Fat.
Around January 5th, I will face the truth: I won’t be dieting until after Valentine’s Day. Every day, I’ll stuff my sausage thighs into my pants. I love my cold weather clothes because they are such dark jewel toned colors, plus they hide my jelly rolls. With each step I’ll feel my junk in the trunk jiggle. Until then I am going to embrace my Season of Fat.
Then the first day of warm weather happens, and I despise the sun. Truly a horror story that almost every woman in America goes through.
Post this banner on your wall with a spooky tale or fun Halloween blog project and I will link you in my next post! I would love for each and every reader to participate! x, Becca
Lady or Not…Here I Come!
Tis the season…
Indeed it is. I enjoy every minute of it!
thx for the ‘likes’ – luv your site
Thanks so much!
What you need, Bec, is Tim Tams – I assume there’s an equivalent in the US – this sort of thick chocolate wafer biscuit. I’m no sweet tooth but even I’m known to indulge. It was created in 1958, based on an English biscuit called a Penguin – but it’s better. And it’s named after the winner of the 1958 Kentucky Derby winner.
….in fact, in one of those pics, you’re chomping on something that looks very Tim Tamish.
Sounds perfectly yummy. I was eating a candy bar.
I can see that you are a true lollipop fan Becca
lol
and as Halloween approaches there is always a
good few lollipops to suck on so get ready for the
wicked, incredibly dark and creepy ghouls
The trick-or-treaters will be out in force too, sooo
lmao
watch out for those little monsters
Andro xxx
Watching very carefully.
Yep lollipops are super yummy.
I am of the kind that does not wait for a holiday before I allow myself to indulge. Hence, I am filled with the joy and spirit that comes with feeding my face. And it shows. On my bum, on my thighs. Hell – I even wear it under my chin for fun!
LOL I tease but yes I have the same issue.
Us girls that like to eat should stick together.
Thank you I could just eat
something exquisitely yummy
Something like that cup cake
you are holding will be good
Androgoth
Yikes! It really is hard to resist. For years I was very much in the ‘just say no’ camp but it gets difficult. On a serious note, providing happy childhoods can coexist with relatively few candies! K.
LOL I know, it was just part of the funny. I don’t feed my children to happiness I promise.
x,
Becca
“Season of fat.” It’s got a ring to it!
LOL It is just my way to make fun of myself.
If you moved north, you would simply be able to call the fact a precautionary measure against the cold.
There, problem solved, and you can revel in the fat as a sign of your obvious winter preparedness…
See maybe I need to move
You need Maltesers – the adverts assure us it’s the lighter way to enjoy chocolate
LOL Ready for confession time? I really don’t like chocolate. shhhh don’t tell anyone.
x,
Becca
Obese guy here. I’m going to lose some weight but it’s going to take some time.
Ahh Jonathan, I was only poking fun at myself. If you read back you will see that I have had weight issues. It does take time and new habits. I am neither thin nor obese. I have been both. I am sorry if this post upset you. That wasn’t my intention.
x,
Becca
That pretty much sums it up!
Love It!
I eat to live … to eat!
~Knotty Puppet
Embrace it I say!
you could live in canada where thanksgiving is over (or at least in 10 hours will be). then you’d be healthy again in time for xmas extra-curriculars and have a better health/dental plan to remove those undesirable substances from your teeth while keeping the desirable body morsels in tact, y’all ;
Indeed but I live in Texas where everything is big.
c’mon spit it out, don’t be shy
I always spit out my verbal ejaculations.
i love your sense of humor!! it is so true, holidays and food go together!!!!! no matter what the season!!!!
Thanks so much Terry
Nice pictures!
LOL thanks
I so so agree… on my recent Fiji trip I just ate EVERYTHING, knowing I’d gain some weight, but who cares? It’ll come back off. Or it won’t. Haha.
You’re my kind of girl!
I have now had to send my poor husband out to buy chocolate digestives (which are nicer than than they sound). You can’t eat them in quantities of less than five, it’s a well known fact. Something to do with quantum.
I appologize for my part in the breaking of your diet. At least I won’t gain weight alone
….
x,
Becca
Christmas is my downfall–all those cookies I make. And little chocolate treats everywhere. Yum. By the way, I’ll have some of that fresh cobbler you’re making…
I am glad to know it isn’t just me. Cobbler coming right up!
I like the way you think. As soon as October comes around, I get excited. “Finally, I can start eating candy corn and drinking egg nog!” And yes, I eat candy corn by the color (and I like the pumpkins the best).
The pumpkins are the best! I knew I always liked you.
Yep…if you haven’t met your weight goals by October, forget about it till next year! Then, at least, you have all those weight loss commercials to motivate you.
Ahh yes but Jen you always look beautiful!
I’m dieting so I limit my candy consumption to a pound per hour.
Sooz
Smart cookie!
“Season of Fat” hehehe… I like that ? thanks for the laughs !!!!
Always
x
Becca
Thank you for passing by.
Anytime
The candy-corn vampire photo cracks me up. I can’t remember what the 3rd and 4th one look like.
If you scroll rapidly up and down, the pictures look like an animated cartoon, like those flip books we used to make as kids. I amuse easily.
Indeed you do.
LOL Vampires suck.
Beccandy. A new entry for the Beccapedia. Since the doctor basically told me I was fat today, I feel I should embrace the season as well!
Awww Your doctor told that you could lose a few not fat.
I always thought Amerians called Lolipops, popsicles? Anyway, some blokes like bigger girls, and it gives you bigger boobs.
No popsicles are cold frozen treats. Yes that is true. I don’t need bigger boobs though.
Can boobs ever be too big?!
Yep…https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTKX6dvgFTr91M6z1vQnac6X7zc2iWaEQ58XfnHiBnl9P0hQiu7Hw
I would’nt kick her out of bed for farting
why not?
Because i’m a sucker for big boobs. (an apt pun)
And what is wrong with drinking copious amounts of vodka? Tends to help with the verbal ejaculations.
It does indeed.
I wish I could participate in fat season with you here in Texas!!! “unfortunately” I have to go back to Hawaii in December and fatness isn’t very popular there. Haha…eat extra cobbler for me?
Awww that is too bad. I am staying in Texas but would love to visit Hawaii again.
Great attitude!
Thanks
Rebecca, you are a truly funny person.
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
Thanks you
I am glad you can laugh!
x,
Becca
Eating candy corn by color is the only way to go Becca! It’s also important to eat the stems off of those Halloween pumpkins first and the crunchberries before the regular capt crunch. I’m surprised you don’t know this.
I do know about pumpkins. Crunch Berries, not so much…ewww I am a crunch purest. I did buy some Halloween Crunch and they had ghosts in them that looked like penises with a third ball.