At one point or another in a woman’s’ life, each of us has had at least one CRAPPY boyfriend.  Don’t get me wrong, BAD boy types are fun, BUT they also seem to come with their own special flaws.

I ( Unfortunately), have been unlucky enough to have had SEVERAL of these types of men.  In all fairness, I am attracted to pretty boys that already come with bad reputations.  I realize that they may have a few FLAWS, I’m just not sure what they ARE…until I’m with them.  Let me give you gals an idea of what old Dreamshadow has been through over the last few weeks.

Let’s talk about Mr. Masturbator (Not real name).  This guy was ruggedly handsome and had the confidence of a Mobster.  He was a big talker and tipper.   He liked to show everyone that he had money to burn and was ready to spend it. Sounds great right? BZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He was also controlling (Which doesn’t sit right with me ‘cause I’m a controller) AND he had a potty mouth.  Now usually I don’t mind a little potty mouth but he dropped the “F” bombs heavier than they did in the invasion of Japan.

Here’s the thing, this guy was a chronic masturbator.  I mean this guy pounded more meat than a BUTCHER.  Every time I tried to talk with him, he was behind closed doors “Chokin’ The Chicken”.  I could hear the Owwws and Ahhhs and it made me feel like I was being played SECOND fiddle.  I mean, his hands would get callused from all the action!

I talked with him about it and he said I was hearing things.  Hearing things I said?!?!?  “Yeah…I’m hearing the symphony of SEX being played by an over ambitious hand!”  We fought and finally I told him it was either ME or his other love, his hand.  In the end, he chose the hand.  I guess “it” was a lot cheaper to keep, and was always there when he needed a little SOMETHING.

oops

He called me two days later to apologize and asked to get back together.  I politely asked how his “Friend” was doing and he said he had nipped his habit in the bud.  I told him I couldn’t see him anymore
but thanked him for a good run.  Then told him “It’s OK….It’s YOU, NOT me.”  I heard the angry slamming of the phone being clicked.  I hung up the receiver and RETURNED to my Dildo.

So…Let me hear some of YOUR horror stories.  I think this could be great fun. I’ll be looking forward to them.  Hey guys, tell us about your ex’s too, I’m all ears…

Until Later…