Dating Disasters

36erbh Dating DisastersThe spring of my 19th year was interesting to say the least.  I was going to meet my future husband that summer, but I had no idea.  I would go out with friends and meet all types of people.  I enjoyed the fact that I was a woman, and that meant power.  I would date and dump as quickly as I started.  I was THAT GIRL who wouldn’t return phone calls (hangs head in shame). There is a whole host of stories I can tell you about that time, but today we are going to talk about my worst date ever.

I was 19 and went out with a guy that was older than me.  Being the typical gal, I always liked to date older, because I was too mature for guys my age.  One night I met (lets call him Kevin).  Kevin told me he was attracted to me.  He asked for my number.  I gave it to him, though to this day I don’t know why. I wasn’t attracted to him in any way.  He was sweet though.  He set up a date and said he would plan it.  That is when the adventure started.

When he arrived, the first words out of his mouth were about his new car.  Apparently he had just bought a new Chevy Cavalier.  Kevin informed me it was better than mine, because it was the newer body style.  Then we walked to the car.  I have always expected my dates to be gentlemen, so I waited to see if he would open my door.  No.  I thought to myself: It’s okay.  He was a nice guy the other day. A door doesn’t define him. 

Kevin drove, showing off his car, until we pulled up to Arby’s.  I hesitated, because no man had ever taken me to a fast food restaurant for dinner.  I went ahead and followed him in.  He walked up to the counter and ordered two Arby’s sandwiches, two orders of curly fries, and the biggest Coke they had.  I was puzzled, but assumed he was trying to show off by ordering for me.  He pulled out his wallet to pay and then turned to me and said, “Oh, did you want something?”  I was mad at this point.  I had always been treated like a lady. I was young enough that I didn’t say anything.  If it were me now, I would have totally called a cab. I just said, “No thank you” and sat down.

 Dating Disasters

It’s all for me!

My internal dialogue was going haywire.  Well, you will show him.  He will never ever get a second date with you. Well… you know very well that he wouldn’t have. It doesn’t matter, he doesn’t know that. You’re a lady and he is not treating you as such.  I looked up and saw that he had Arby’s sauce dripping down both arms.  I pushed the napkins toward him and he stuck his tongue out and licked his arms.  I threw-up in my mouth a little. Did I mention he was about 100 lbs soaking wet?

I said something about needing to get home, and he said he had a movie planned for the date.  I said I wasn’t sure I had time.  He said we did if we rushed and shoved the entire half of the second sandwich in his mouth and ran to the car. I followed reluctantly and we drove to the theater.  We got out of the car and he ran in front of me.  The only possible reason to try to get in front of me for the movie tickets would be to pay, right? No.  He just wanted to be first.  He got a ticket to George of the Jungle.  I wasn’t interested in seeing it, but at the point, I gave up. I just got my ticket and went in.

 Dating Disasters

I don’t know why I am single

He pointed to the video games and suggested we go play until the movie started.  I told him I didn’t want to play.  He ran over to play by himself. I sat on the bench far away.  I heard my name and looked up.  He was calling me.  He begged me to come play.  Told me it was a two player game.  Had stacks and stacks of quarters lined up.  I told him no thank you.  He asked me again.  He said it was part of the date.  I gave in, reluctantly, and walked up to the game.  I held out my hand for a quarter.  He said, “Put your quarter in.” I informed him that I didn’t have any quarters.  He sighed loudly and said, “Well you can use one of mine and pay me back later.”  To which I replied, “No. You can take me home.”

He drove me home talking incessantly while I said nothing.  You see, had he known I wasn’t going to stay for the movie, he would have taken me home earlier.  When we pulled into the driveway, I jumped out as quickly as possible and raced toward the door.  Much to my chagrin, he followed in hot pursuit   He put his arm around me and said, “Why the hurry?”  Then leaned in for a kiss. I told him I respected myself more than that.  He said he understood and when could we schedule our next date.  I said, “Yeah… never.” And went inside.

My date later that night was much more generous.  ;)

x,

Becca

Lady or Not… Here I Come!

 

Oh you know you want to give verbal ejaculation a try. Spit it out!

  1. Becca, you are a girl after my own heart :) I thought I was the only one this ruthless, ROFL! My roomates hated it; if a guy was more than 15 minutes late I would bolt too. Always awkward then when you end up at the same place that night with someone else…

  2. Oh, what a terrible date. I remember I dated someone like that also. He kept bragging about he has his own business and he basically sits on a pile of money. I didn’t like that but he was cute. At the first date we met up at a bar just to discover he was with his friends there. Pretty weird but I had fun. I had a beer which he paid for. On the second date we went to a club where I had 2 beers which he paid for. Third date we took a long walk and he had a coffee to go from Starbucks. I had nothing. On the forth date we went to the movie, he asked for two tickets, the lady at the counter asked for the money and he looked at me then asked me very, very loud: “Oh, am I gonna pay for these ones also?” I got so embarrassed that I offered to pay for the both tickets but then he refused as if he was doing me such a huge favor! The fifth date never happened and he said it is for the better because it wouldn’t work out as I am spoiled and cheap. Well…

  3. Did I miss the part where you explained why you accepted a date with this guy?

    I think I have you beat in the bad dates department. I had a guy ask me out and the “date” wound up with me accompanying him while he returned a shirt to JC Penney. That was it.

    He was cute, though, and I was shallow.

  4. I think I dated that guy…….seriously. I think we should go and smack his parents up side the head. If my boys ever treated a girl like that I’d whip them! Even if they were 30! Pig Pig Pig!!!

  5. A date with B.O.B., eh?

    Guys like that muck up the water for the rational, sociable geeks you don’t hear much about. We’re plentiful but, like religious folk, you hear more about the bad ones than good ones. Firstly, and this may be the film geek rumbling, who eats dinner before going to the theatre? The dinner’s the best part because you get to talk about the film and other stuff (unless she has “other stuff” in mind… ::porn bassline::). Wait. FIRSTLY, every door would’ve been open for her whether she was walking through it or not. A trick I picked up during my Star Wars days. Hopefully, I would’ve remembered to throw the whoopie cushion in the back before she sat on it. Boys will be boys.

    Secondly, I would’ve asked what she wanted to see before I picked her up. That way, if it’s a chick flick I can suddenly remember that my dear old aunt needed a couch moved to the other wall (not that one, the other one… no, Auntie Mav–) Wise man once said, “I’ll do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” If she leaves it up to me, I’ll do my best to be mindful. DEFINITELY not seeing “George of the Jungle”.

    Thirdly, the arcade. The litmus test. As a guy, I love flashing colors and explosions. As a man, I know that not every gal likes the same. So, I’ll saunter over with her, judge her reaction, and quickly move to the stuffed animal machine so she doesn’t suspect I wanna play the latest “Dance Dance Revolution”. As a New Age Rico Suave, I ask her what she wants. She plays coy. I hold her at gun point and she wants the striped one. I win it for her and we trot along to “Hellraiser XIX vs. Freddy”.

    Fourthly, dinner. Arby’s? ARBY’S? You save that for the fifth date, at least. It’s all about diminishing returns with dates. You take her to a great place when you’re at your worst (which should be your first date), then things trade off as you go on more dates. Because if he’s doing his job, you won’t care where you go as long as you’re with him. Thankfully, that doesn’t mean dumpster-diving. Unless that means Arby’s.

    Fifthly, have fun through it all. Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you have to be boring. As long as it doesn’t resort to pulling bra straps or dropping pencils down her exposed cleavage or bum crack. That doesn’t mean coming swinging at the level of Robin Williams. You can figure out what her tolerance of fun is within the first hour. Heck, she might even surprise you. Second date? Pie fight. And it’ll be her idea.

    Sixthly, kiss her hand g’bye and make sure she gets to the door ok. Anything past the door is up to her and whether or not I moved the whoopie cushion. Chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just unappreciated on both sides. It’s hard to argue that when one of the latest social sensations was “Jersey Shore”. I don’t think they’d know manners if it bludgeoned them with chainsaws mounted to monster truck tires.

    Seventhly, women… stop playing hard to get. It only gets more annoying the further away from high school you get. You’re your own worst enemy when it comes to finding a good guy. That fella over there being a great conversationalist yet not picking up on your signals? He’s got shell-shock from the last 20 gals whom he thought was sending signals but really, she was just being nice. And that other fella who can’t speak for shit yet reads all your signs like a fortune teller? He’s slept with half the bar. So be blatant with the nice guys. They’re the ones your father won’t wanna introduce to their blunderbuss, and the ones who you can break up with B.O.B. for.

    ::curtsies::

    • LOL I think you wrote a post. Great advice. I have always had things for nerds. They are generally the best to date. If I didn’t laugh with my date they didn’t get a second. I love to laugh too much.

  6. And here I thought it was a fatal faux pas simply not to offer any of your food to your date. Apparently there are much worse things to do ;) Since I am notoriously late I don’t get upset at slight tardiness. But over 10 minutes without any contact to let you know why is my limit.
    21st-century women are a frustrating mix. Some expect full princess treatment and others bristle at every door being opened, everything being carried for them, and of course everything being paid for them as perpetuating chauvinism and they want to be their own person. As with everything, there’s a happy medium, but I suspect that there are many women in America who secretly want to doted upon and enjoy being called Mrs. Husbandslastname, but can’t admit it openly because they have also been raised on feminism and independence. Personally I would love to be an attractive single woman for one week… as long as it’s not THAT week. :D

  7. That was hilarious. I am sorry you had to go through that debacle of a date, but it was great blogging fodder. I wonder if he is currently living alone comparing licking abilities with his 20 something cats…ick. Not a pleasant visual..not at all. lol

  8. I love how much we grow and learn, but then can’t use what we learn. i would have given him the benefit of the doubt in all the ways that you did at that age. Now that we’re married we know better and would have bailed when he didn’t open the car door. The sad part is that being married means all that hard earned knowledge and perspective goes to waste. Sheesh.

  9. hahaha. . .I did meet an internet dude for a drink one night, and he didn’t offer to pay for even one of my drinks!!! Oh hell no!! I don’t care if you’re a bagger at the local grocery store, and only make tips, you sure as hell better buy me a drink!

  10. This happened to me once and I blew him off (er, wouldn’t accept a 2nd date) only to find out he was actually a multimillionaire testing my sense of humor. I’ve been searching for him to tell him I actually love Arby’s and was merely testing him.

  11. When I was a teenager, I only dated one girl that was younger than me, not good. I liked and dated older women. More experience and meat on their bones. I don’t care much for skinny girls or skinny guys, for that matter. Arby’s is definitely the pits, I would at least take my dates to up-scale Barbecue places like Rudy’s Road Kill. Plus girls who dated me had to be tough enough to ride on the back of my motorcycle. Life and love was rough in the teen years.

  12. Yeah, that guy was a total jerk; the least he could have done was let YOU lick the Arby’s sauce off his arms.

      • I once dated a guy who called me “Betty” the whole time we were out on the date. Even though I told him that wasn’t my name. In the end, I gave up on correcting him. It didn’t seem worth the bother, and I just wanted the date to end.

        But, when I told my mom that I wasn’t going to go out with him again — and why — she said I shouldn’t be so mean. He seemed like a perfectly nice guy. >.O

  13. Wow, that’s an amazingly terrible date. I wouldn’t have liked 19-year-old Becca much, but even she didn’t deserve that! ;) Now, if he had taken you to Whataburger instead, that would’ve been a different story. It’s interesting that you use whether or not a guy opens your door as a test. I have a similar test. I always open the girl’s door and the test is does she reach over and unlock mine? I mean, she’s just sitting there while I walk around to the other side of the car. If I still have to unlock it myself, she just lost points. Of course, that made more sense before I had a car with a remote for the locks…

  14. This is too good. That guy sounds terrible. I can’t believe you put up with all that!! I don’t care much about opening doors, but if it’s a date, he should at least offer to pay. Though I’d insist on paying in the end anyways. But I love that. Yeah…Never.

  15. OMG! What an arsehole! Wonder if he’s married now? and what to? :-o I don’t know how you put up with him for so long that evening – mind you, I used to put up with all sorts of crap when I was younger – don’t remember any as bad as him tho…