Today I write this post from my breakfast room table while sitting next to Jason. He and I, coincidentally, are wearing matching t-shirts. Well, mine has the logo written across my boobs in sparkles, his doesn’t. I think he is a little jealous. I have no idea what to write about, so I will write about him being here to visit.
First, he got in Friday afternoon with a HUGE bag. I swear, he packed like a girl. The bag was heavy, plus he had his computer bag. I brought him back to the house, where my little man (who has a man crush on him) proceeded to say, “Where are my presents and when are you going to open yours?” Jason stared off into space while I told my kid it was rude. Then we showed him around the house. His bag was so heavy he had a difficult time getting it up the stairs.
He came downstairs and made friends with the doggies. My evil dog, Bella, fell madly in love with him and I think proposed marriage. For her honor, I challenged him to a duel of arm wrestlin’ where he hardly beat me. I think he cheated but that is a story for another day. I did tell him he would have to sleep outside and not get to visit if he didn’t relinquish the betrothal. He stared off into space and then gave in to my demands.
Later, I force fed him gruel and slop. He complained the entire time because he is a super picky eater. I swear, never invite the guy to your house. He demanded a Christmas stocking full of stuff and presents: shoes, three shirts, jeans, and a dog toy. Then he insisted that I hand out gifts for us. He was so rude by giving me a freaking crap load of gifts: 
A shirt, a collectors edition of one of my favorite books, a cup, a daily journal, the family a collectors soda, my hypothetical son his special baseball cards from childhood, and my hypothetical daughter an MP3 player. I thought it was very rude that he didn’t get me any diamonds. Plus he didn’t buy my husband that Porsche he wanted. You would think with the all the big bucks in taxes I pay for teachers, he would at least try to be generous.
More stories to come!
x,
Becca
Lady or Not… Here I Come!
Looking for more stories to come, as you have written in your post.
Thanks Neel.
I agree that was rude. There better be diamonds and a porsche as a parting gift when he leaves.
Nope. When he got to the airport on Friday, he didn’t give me nutton. So rude. I expected twice the diamonds because the gifts were late.
I do care, don’t presume to tell me I don’t. For your ignorance of my general capacity to give a shit I feel that the porsche made of diamonds should be delivered at extraordinary cost to me via The Most Liveable City @ Arse-End of the World, Somewhere in the South Pacific. Do it or the dog gets it (I have a small white fluffy dog that is willing to be sacrificed by proxy – we have yet to negotiate terms).
LOL You know I adore you right?
Hey I pay for the teacher too, where is my tacos, all I want it a Taco.
Awww, Bella loves him! So cute!
She is a sweet dog. He needed it this week.
Yay for Christmas rudeness! (And doggie love. So cute.)
LOL Yay. They are sweet together.
So when can I visit you? I have never been proposed to by a dog before and I need a new experience. Happy New Year Becca and Jason!
Anytime, but it might be good to know your real name and what you look like.
lol damn I knew there would be a catch
no diamonds or porsche? shame and tsk. the pup is adorable.
Thanks. Yes he was so rude.
WHAT? No Porsche? How dare he come to your home without a Porsche or diamonds!
I know. He is so ungrateful for my hospitality.
The horror that is Jason must be stopped!
Seriously, the nerve of that guy.
I am trying to stop him. He is a menace to society.
Happy New Year. I just woke up from NYE party, baby. So I am a bitsy in the unknown. ,-) You should know I do care. Ok, I’ll stop here. For now just this: Porsches don’t beat Lamborghinis (esp. Countach or Espada). cheers and buano notte the Gurk
Well the Porsche is isn’t for me. I want an Aston Martin.
Ok with me (the convertible) but why not go for a Mercedes Maybach instead?
meh
rofl. Ok, then the Aston Martin convertible but only if you sit next to me and behave unorderly. Deal?
I will consider the offer only once I have the vehicle.
no, I have it maki n it out of Tx just just for a couple o day. What you think? Ok this offer was in public I can repeat in private if you prefer.
Sure. I can’t wait to have my Aston Martin. I get to keep it either way?
wait. I have a song for ya
and all the guys hanging around you.
If you hate okies dontcha listen.;-))
Tulsa Time
Hmm Tulsa time is the song?
ya!!!!
I got vip tickets to one of her concerts and got invited to hang back stage.
To funny. Keep him hostage! Maybe he gave all his money to his family. Demand the big bucks for his safe return.
LOL
I will. I know his family is loaded, well at least with stuff.
Rebecca, your posts always give me a chuckle. I’d really like to “follow” your blog but not quite courageous enough to expose you to some of my more conservative (humorless?) friends and family members! I will continue reading, however; and definitely will recommend your site to those I know will enjoy it. Meanwhile, HAPPY YEAR TO YOU AND YOURS – including Bella, Jason et al.
aww No worries. I know my blog isn’t for everyone. I love that you enjoy reading me and that is what matters. Happy New Year!
Jason sounds like a terrible house guest. I’m glad you told this story so I make sure I never invite him over. And why does he stare off into space so often?
He really does that. I think it is because his brain is running on warp speed.
Would it help if I said I knew how to make diamonds?
not unless you gave them to me.
And by diamonds, I meant that I could make dreams come true. And by making dreams come true, I meant that I could pop in one of those “Nightmare on Elm St.” films.
LOL Sounds exciting!
Good Lord……….
I know!
Now wait a minute! There was NO big bag of gifts at the Denver Greyhound Terminal. There wasn’t even a little bag. And I traveled all that way just to see him! I would have settled for a nice Toyota and a cubic zirconium, but NOOOOOOO.
OMG He was super rude!
You made up for him being rude by feeding him gruel and slop, but you can still sprinkle coal dust and sugar in his bed sheets while he’s there next time for added measure.
Ohhh I can do that tonight!
Hahaha poor Jason, this is what he gets from not giving you diamonds for Christmas, maybe you should forgive him if he do the ‘ugly cry’
Have a Great New Year to you and your family!
Have a wonderful new year!
Outrageously rude. You should have kick him out!
I will, no doubt.
*Staring off into space* Huh? What?
Yep, exactly.
I think your dog is in love and there’s no fighting it. Forcing them apart will only drive her into his arms (the picture proves it
)
Funny, she has been mopey since he left. I broke her heart.
Okay then sparkling boobs I won’t
lmao
bother reading this one then
Another chucklesome story, but it
would have been nice to receive a
diamond or twenty
Andro xxx
Twenty would have been better.