Did you know that when you own your own website, and/or when you use WordPress, you receive stats on how people find your site through search engines? That’s right. Ideas for a post today escaped me, so I’m doing what every other blogger does in this situation: the standard search engine term post. I have had this site for one month and already Google, Yahoo, Bing, and Ask think I am a porn site. Today I am going to hit on the freakiest of searches.
The first one to catch my attention was a hit from yesterday; it is what inspired this post. If you’re searching for My daughter uses my dildo, you’re all sorts of messed up. Now I am not sure which one of you perverts lets your daughter use your dildo, but gross! Really, hide that thing! I don’t recommend sharing dildos, as you can pass infections. I am assuming the reasons for the hits are posts such as, A New Pet, WTF Friday #1, Breadstick Abuse, and Crappy Ass Men.
A alarming amount of you are obsessed with Dora the Explorer’s Butt. I have had, I kid you not, 18 hits on her butt alone. Dora’s butt, Dora’s big butt sex adventure, and Dora the Explorer naked pop up almost daily on my searches. I am sure it was my post Dora’s Big Butt Adventure that made you crazy people find me.
This brings me to those 6 of you looking for Hot Camel Toes in Pajamas. Are you kidding me? Just take off her pajamas and do her. Today, I had 2 hits for 3D camel toe alone. What the heck do you need that for? 2 of you were looking for Olympic camel toe. I am wondering if you need an atomic wedge to win the gold on that one. And the one pedophile looking for very young camel toe…you’re sick, get help. I know this is from my WTF Friday #2 where I was poking fun at the camel toe shields. How can this be sexy? Guys did you know camel toe isn’t even what you think it is? Tight pants just smush the fat down there to make it look like something it’s not.
There is a whole list of them:
itty bitty workout outfits buff bitties workout clothes
pictures of yoga pants worn by women with no underwear
best lot of weed lying to my dad
my dad thinks I am a liar sarah belleli nude
parents humiliating children working out porn
chinese long eyebrows last dildos
lady and not her son—-(I say, grrrr on this one)
sarah ann belleli plastic surgery lady grey
shades of grey all the naughty parts russian having fun
giada de laurentiis situation sex
hot russian pornstar
So now I know that Google thinks that I am a porn website dedicated to fetishes such as camel toed Russian women, Dora the Explorer’s butt, working out without underwear, and whoever Sarah Belleli is, naked. Apparently, I sell vibrators and weed. I also teach children to lie to their dads while being humiliated by Chinese men with long eyebrows.
In conclusion . . . I don’t know what to say about this world, but it’s a very scary place.