In many ways I am a girly girl. I like my nails and hair done just so. I fuss if a man doesn’t anticipate my whims. I like all things that sparkle and I dislike sports. All this being said, many girlfriends ask me why I have a higher than average ratio of male friends. One of my girlfriends and I were discussing this the other night when we went out. She is very similar to me.
First, what is it with women and lotions? Every year around my birthday and Christmas I am inundated with baskets of this stuff. Who the heck uses hundreds of lotions? They always smell like some sicky sweet fruit thing and are greasy and sticky. Don’t people realize that the more you use the stuff, the more you need it? I have started giving them back as gifts to the husbands of the wives with a box of Kleenex as a white elephant gift the next year.
The next one that gets me is the “Why are they always looking at my boobs?” question. Well ladies, if more of your boobs are showing than are not, I will look. I hate to break it to you. I am completely straight, but boobs are boobs. You can’t help but be mesmerized by the suckers (pun intended) and when you don’t cover them they should be fair game to peek at. Anyone that knows me, know I will say it to your face if you complain.
Next is sex. Who doesn’t like sex? Women that have to do everything don’t have time to put out. I can tell you though, I have never met a woman who wouldn’t put out if she saw her man scrubbing floors without being asked. Yumm…The difference between me and some women is that I don’t typically ask for it to be done. If you don’t ask, they want to help because it isn’t a chore. Then again, I am smart enough not to come up behind him and tell him he is doing it wrong. I haven’t met a woman that doesn’t lose her s*&t if her significant other tells her SHE is doing it wrong. It is a partnership not a parenting relationship.
The last one is I am overly blunt. I tend to call things like I see them. This works wonders with me, women on the other hand tend to want me to sugar coat things. If they ask me if their butt looks big in something, I will say yes if it does. If they look hot in something, I will tell them. If they are wrong while complaining about their spouse I am the first to say. I don’t do drama very well. I hate it in fact. But I will let you in on a little secret. The majority of men I know are bigger gossips than the women I know. Little known fact.
The reality is it took me until my late 20s to find girlfriends that were the same way back to me. I have such a wonderful group of friends, though most live far from me now. I am very blessed to have men and women in my life that understand that I have the subtlety of a rhino.
Thank you to all the Ladyornot.com readers yesterday. We broke a record for this site. We hit over 1300 views in one day. I look forward to getting to know each one of you better. Thank to Jasonwrites for the sweet post below.