LoN Advice for Writing

I am often asked where my blogging ideas come from. They come from my head, genius!  Really though, I have a knack for writing.  I am practically perfect at it.  So, I know you want to know my secret to having a successful writing life.

LoN Advice for Writing:

  • funny facebook stolen crops1 LoN Advice for Writing


    Be Productive –The key to writing is to find a productivity training ground. I suggest going to Facebook and wasting hours playing games such as Farmville, Bingo, Bejeweled, and one of the bubble popping games.  These time sucking games are wonderful for teaching you productivity.

  • Involve Friends — Another key component is, asking your friends for help. I ask Rod, Jason, and Hubby to help me with content and editing.  Often we get on webcam to be able to have the correct understanding of one another.  They are so supportive: they spend hours of time talking to me about life, dreams, girls, and their strange affinity for ugly sweaters.
  •  LoN Advice for WritingAlways be Truthful — It is paramount that you always tell the truth to your readers.  Never lie, or your audience learns not to trust you.  Sometimes this doesn’t work well with the story you’re posting about.  This is why it is important to make your lies true in your head… which leads to the next point.
  • Mental awareness — It is important that you become aware of the fact that you are insane.  It is okay; embrace the fact and use it to better yourself.  For example, if people want to read about Prince Harry, convince yourself and your audience that he is obsessed with you.
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    It really sucks being bad at this writing thing!

    Be aware of your environment – It has been said that the author Stephen King goes off to write in hotels or cabins for months at a time.  This seclusion helps him sit down to write without distraction   We all know what a hack the man is.  No one respects his writing, so do the opposite.  Find a place with as much noise and distraction as possible.  Teach the kids to make you your alcoholic beverage of choice and just write down everything you hear around you. If you do this, you will be able to write better than him… better yet, you will be able to write better than E L James.  This is the only way you can top her genius.

  • Be prepared — Nothing is worse than being on a roll in your writing, when suddenly your humanity hits.  You have to go to the dreaded room of doom; the bathroom. Instead, wear a diaper.  This works best in combo with a beverage hat and a fanny pack full of m&ms.

winners LoN Advice for WritingOf course, this isn’t all the advice I have for you on writing, but this is a starting point. I hope you take this advice seriously, because it might be the difference between success and failure   I only interact with winners.



Lady or Not… Here I Come!


LoN Advice for Writing — 92 Comments

  1. Don’t forget to steal ideas from more talented writers. But make it look like your own by using an image stolen from the internet. These are key elements to good blogging. That and hallucinogenic coffee.

      • I know you said before that copying was the greatest form of flattery but seriously, I can’t do it everyday, lol! Of course maybe that’s MY insanity, I’m obsessed with you instead of Prince Harry or Farmville. I don’t drink any more, or less (it’s the middle of the week for heaven’s sake!) so there is still plenty of Knob Creek left and I ran out of diapers yesterday. My dog looks at me strange because I keep squatting over her wee-wee pads. I figure it won’t hurt her to share until I go to the store. So I guess i better go to bed now, I ran out of M&M’s and Stephen King keeps whispering about “It” in my ear. I always thought “It” was some kind of freaked out clown but not according to Stephen. Apparently you can touch “It” too… I don’t know about all that now…

        • We are mutually obsessed. Don’t worry about “IT” because he needs M&Ms to be conjured but diapers are the answer for keeping him away. I think your dog likes to share. ;)

  2. You have a special turn or knack for writing. You need not explain but the different ways you ‘search’ are all good and funny! I absolutely love reading your posts! You make my day! I think the truth is overrated!! haha! (Only truthful in comments given to others!)

  3. Great stuff for all new bloggers. Thanks! Ideas are sneaky things, they live under rocks, hide in sock drawers, and flit between the dimensions like demented fireflies. We writers always have to be ready with our butterfly nets.

  4. I have so missed your daily posts (I was away)! However, I fear I may be doomed as I happen to enjoy King’s lousy writing. He and Koontz are among my faves along with a few other abstract weirdos you probably aren’t familiar with. But I am confident that if I keep reading your blog, I will learn enough to become successful! Love ya lady!! :D

  5. Ah oh, Lady or Not! Can I be a blogger and have… verbal dysfunction? Must strive to live by your credo and spit it out! You’ve only been on my radar for a few days, but everyday you make me laugh, thank you.

  6. Here’s some tissue for your ejaculation… I think you got some on Mr. King’s neck. What if I wanna follow this philosophy: 1) Sharpen a pencil; 2) Profit; 3) Think about writing a story while partying with hookers offering cotton candy; 4) ???

  7. Battle Pirates is my favored productivity training ground at the moment. I have the best Construction Officer on the high seas – said officer is a walking erector set.

    And yes, late night calls can often lead to trouble, but not always.

  8. Your list has inspired me to completely reorganize my life. And my 22 month can definitely learn to mix a drink by now, right?

    Thank you so much for being a great source of inspiration and a fount of knowledge!

  9. I find it hard to concentrate at times, start thinking about women… actually my wife… get a bone… which drains too much blood from my head, and I forget what I was going to write.

  10. Well there’s no reason you can’t write in the bathroom. I always have my nook in there, and it’s in a cover with a pad and pen, voilá! But I tried to take a step further, and write in the shower. I figured if I used a whiteboard with dry erase markers, I would be fine, because they only erase dry, right? Oh how they lie.

    • Thanks so much. I am glad to see you around here. :) I have a lot of fun writing because I just do all the above listed tactics… I would say more but I think my farmville crops are ready.

  11. Great advice! I also make a list of topics I should write about. When I sit down to write about it, of course I write about something else. I am that focused!

  12. Productive- check. Involve friends (feedback from readers?) – if so, check. Always be truthful – but I’m a creative writer. Mental awareness, umm need to work on this one. Aware of my environment – check. Be prepared – I write on a laptop, which sometimes accompanies me to the toilet if necessary. In fact, I’m heading there now. Bet you’re glad to know that ;)

  13. Thank you for the bit about King… I read about 2 chapters once and thought to myself it was a load of crap and why was this guy getting read?? It’s great to know I don’t seem to be the only insane person around who doesn’t like his writing ;)

  14. I am already starting to follow your suggestionWHAT DO TOU WANT? I AM BUSY! BRING ME SOME MORE JUICE! It’s a good thing I am already and Adonis-like geniusTELL THEM I AM NOT HOME! DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE? Keep up the great advice!

Oh you know you want to give verbal ejaculation a try. Spit it out!