My friend, Jeremy Lukens , author of the blog stealingpesosoutofmybrain.wordpress.com and our very own Dear Jeremy, stated in my comments yesterday, “Well, I guess I would have to be a buffoon, considering my most popular blog posts are all about boobs!” In response, I said, “What would the world motorboat without boobs?”
This really had me stressed and my mind racing: What would the world motorboat without boobs? Would the world end or would we find simple replacements for our lips? Would we dare take our next breath knowing we didn’t have this option?
My mind went down this destructive path of a boob-less world when I concluded, I would be just fine. Then I thought of all the men I knew and how it would change their lives. Men and a few women (giving you the stink eye, you know who you are and what you have tried to do to me) all over the world would be in search for anything to motorboat.
First, we would find them trying their best to motorboat building.
Help us please!
We would find sports figures all over the world, trying to motorboat one another.
I love you man!
My girlfriend, Julie, felt concerned for both wet and dry balloons.
Pretty soon there would be a sandwich fetish surplus.
Hey baby…that feel good?
Finally, dogs all over the world become VERY scared!
These thoughts were horrifically scary. The world needs boobs for dogs, buildings, football players, balloons, and sandwiches everywhere. Ladyornot.com officially is pro boobs. We approve this message.
If you haven’t seen this clip, you gotta. It always makes me laugh. Wedding Crashers was one of the two funniest movies of recent times to me.
x,
Becca
Ah, boobs. The only part of a woman I don’t hate.
I have a funny story involving boobs, actually. I have a friend named Jesi. Jesi’s is very well-endowed in the chesticles area. She also has a five-year-old son. One afternoon she was doing a bit of cleaning and was in a tight spot and her boobs got stuck. Her son pointed, laughed, and said “Boobie trap!” Most clever thing I’ve known a five-year-old to say (with the exception of everything I said as a five-year-old.)
That is way too funny. I remember that that is the only part of women…You know women love boobs, men love boobs, gay men and women love boobs, sexual and asexuals love boobs, adults and children love boos. We are all in the same place in life. Boobs rule.
So that’s what I’ve been doing – motorboating? Funny piece.
If men motorboat – do women showboat?
If men motorboat – do women sink ships?
if men motorboat – is it man over broad?
If men motorboat – can you canoe?
If men motorboat – can they pull up to your slip?
Okay – maybe more motorboat jokes tomorrow but
for now, we’re just sailing off into the sun set.
LOL I think you should write about this on your blog. You have some great ideas. ((Hugs))
Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means “Small Craft Advisory”
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
http://youtu.be/xat1GVnl8-k
…sorry, that’s what came to mind. You know me. funny stuff
Now I am dancing.
hehe I danced to that song many times. That is lyrical genius right there.
Haha, in that case, thank God for boobs!
(And agreed, that clip is funny.)
Boobs of the world unite!
Also how good the strippers take my dollar bill if I could not motorboat where another man has left his saliva before me.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YOu’re talking to a germaphobic.
Funny piece. What would women DO without our boobs? They’re our secret weapon for…Well…MANY things.
True. Without them, we’d no longer be under your control.
Ahh thus the link to Susan G K.
You old sailor, this post is terrifying. It’s like the movie “Ghost Tits” but on a larger scale. Not only would the world be a more boring place, but there would be no art. Painting and sculpture were invented as an excuse for men to create boobs. Many people currently working would be out of a job, such as Katy Perry and Jennifer Love Hewitt. We would never figure out Victoria’s secret because the company would not exist. And that means (gasp) Victoria’s Secret commercials wouldn’t exist either! It’s a scary thought.
As to motorboating substitutes, I think the balloons are the most likely. Have you ever heard of “looners?”
Sailor? How so? LOL I would love for you to write an entire post about this for me. I need another dear Jeremy anyway. How is this “Dear Jeremy, my boobs are too big. I have trouble finding clothes that fit. Should I get a breast reduction?”
I have never heard of looners.
Sure, I can write one of those. I just called you sailor to quote Vince Vaughn. As for looners, that is a term for balloon fetishists. It’s actually quite interesting in a “those people are weird” kind of way. Then again, I bet looners think my obsession with girls in yoga pants is weird, so…
Now I have know how you know what balloon fetish people are called…Jeremy. I’ve never heard the official name and I have heard some pretty weird crap.
Oh that is right sailor. I swear I love that movie and it is so old now.
Yes I like boobs of all descriptions
of course I do have my favourites
I could have added a three thousand word
synopsis on why we need boobs in our lives
but hey I think that Jeremy seems to have
all the answers on this subject matter… lol
Have a good
one today Becca
Androgoth XXx
LOL I would love to read your 3000 word synopsis.
I always love popping in to catch your latest epic ejaculations…
A world without boobs would be a bleak & joyless place, no place for the likes of me, that’s for sure!
Why isn’t motorboating an olympic event as it might be the one field in which i might finally excel…
THanks so much for stopping by. I appreciate you stopping by. I think you should make it an Olympic sport…start a petition.
This may come as a surprise but I find motorboating to be very overrated. It has no climax. The story is great and it can be a fun ride but there’s no payoff. It’s the independent film of sexual acts.
Without boobs, the world would have been incinerated during the Cold War because there would’ve been no reason not to push the big red button.
No reason at all.
Ha ha ha… wet or dry.. it’s all good!
Thanks for being brilliant dear friend
You’re always good for a laugh. Not sure why that sounds like an insult. And BTW, no poking (get it) fun at my Patriots, EVER!
LOL I do get it. ((hugs))
OMG!!!!! Motor Boating is a way of life I swear! What’s even better is that as a girl we can get away with motor boating in strange women’s breast and not get slapped for it… (totally not lesbian but i wasn’t breastfed soooooo i’m obsessed with boobs lol)
You’re comment has me rolling.