Thanks to Ellen for participating in Blogtoberfest. Please take a minute to check out her post! https://elleturner4.wordpress.com/2012/10/09/oooohhhh-its-so-scary-in-my-house/
Growing up as a kid dressed in hand-me-downs and whatever was on clearance at Whatever-mart, I couldn’t help to grow up wanting to care about fashion. I am the middle of the road person. I don’t want to be the last one in high-waisted pants. I also don’t want to be so far in front of the fashion curve that most people think I look ridiculous. I really think the people of Whatever-mart resent that I chose a life without them and they have talked my clothes into trying to kill me. Then of course the fact that I tend to trip over my own feet when standing still….but that is a story for another day.
First my over the shoulder boulder holders can’t be purchased at Whatever-mart because they don’t carry my size. They really need to get over it. But no, they have talked these boob vices into stabbing me. That’s right, I will be nicely minding my own business when suddenly I feel a pop and get stabbed in the ribcage with a metal rod. Now if you belong to the IBTC you don’t know what I am talking about. The wire actually breaks and cuts through the bra and literally cuts you.
Next is the cute holey pants that are all the rage. My favorite jeans right now have them all up and down the legs (plus really cute rhinestones on the butt). The problem is every time I try to put them on, I get a toe stuck in the hole. This always makes my life flash before my eyes as I can see a faceplant happening into the edge of my bathtub. So far I have been able to rescue myself but the day is coming where I will face death by jeans.
Lastly I have a beautiful collection of shoes. It is taking everything I have not to pull them out and take pictures of every single pair just to show them off. Yes, it is a love affair. I have my beautiful, yet comfortable, furry shoes and flip-flops. My athletic shoes that are only be worn if I’m actually working out. I have my beautiful dressy heels and flats. The best group is my spectacular stilettos aka my sitting shoes.
The sitting shoes are the ones that have been trying to kill me. What I think is that the athletic shoes get together with the fuzzy/flip-flop shoes and make sure that wherever I might happen to be wearing my sitting shoes, there will always be potholes, grass, and no chairs available. Here is the thing, I am unsure if I can live without these shoes but I am not sure I will live if I continue to wear them. Then again wasn’t the Wizard of Oz really all about dying for a great pair of shoes?
What is a practically perfect BBEU winner supposed to do when her fashion sense is trying to kill her? Say screw it and die in beautiful clothes.
Lady or Not…Here I Come!