Showering Together

My sister was visiting for the weekend and she was full of fun stories.  Today, she told me one that had me rolling.  I thought you all might enjoy hearing it.

She is very active in the Church of Christ.  It’s a Protestant denomination that is very male dominated.  At the time of this story, she was active in a smaller congregation of the church and worked with many of the elders at a pizza joint.  She would often moonlight as a massage therapist (not the fire spirit one I went to the other day).  Between the two jobs and personal relationships, she was friendly with most of the 300 some odd people who were present on one particular Sunday.

communion Showering Together Her boss, and close friend, happened to be giving the communion homily that day.  He said, “Yesterday I was taking a shower with [insert my sister's name here] and…”  He realized his mistake right away.  “No! I never showered with [insert her name here], I meant my boys!  I never ever showered with her!”  He turned bright red while my sister sunk into her pew seat and his wife burst out laughing.  “I tell you… it’s just that she gave me a massage yesterday.  My boys took a shower with her!  Oh crap, I showered with my boys.”

churchlady Showering Together The rest of the service, she had to avoid eye contact with the wife, because the wife was laughing so hard.  My sister, who thinks of him as a brother, was mortified.  She realized she would lose massage business because of what he said.  Sure enough, after church, the woman with the largest stick shoved up her butt walked up to her and said, “You see!  This is why I never allow my husband to get a massage from you!”  Then she stormed off in a huff.

To this day, they laugh about having showered together.  She lost a lot of regulars whose wives were worried.  For goodness sake, he is quite a bit older than her and they fight like cats and dogs.  This church will always have quite the scandal.



Lady or Not… Here I Come!


Showering Together — 97 Comments

  1. HAHAHA! I grew up in the Church of Christ (C of C). I know how traditionally conservative of a church it is, so this story especially resonated with me. I’ve long since given up the C of C. Far too many sticks shoved up people’s butts for my liking. To each their own. Thanks for the funny story!

  2. Hehe…you said homily. You dirty Catholic. You can always tell which little old lady has the largest stick because she can’t sit straight up in the pew.

  3. hahahaha
    What kind os massages does your sister give?
    I can’t believe she lost customers because of something as silly as this.
    Some people need to get a grip.
    Funny stuff.

  4. The Church of the Shared Shower. This could be a thing. Let me know if you want to start a following!

  5. Alone, together, or a group-it doesn’t matter. I hate baths and showers. It’s not such a big deal to a dog who has no shame sniffing butts in public.

  6. The women that didn’t want their husbands getting massages from her should “lighten” up and get “enlightened”. The Bible does say to turn the other cheek, it doesn’t say to persecute someone for someone else’s verbal diarrhea :), particularly accidental false diarrhea.

    Glad they can laugh about it …

  7. I had to pick my eyeballs off the floor before I started laughing. I hate when people can’t accept someone’s innocent mistake. Sorry your sister lost some clients.

  8. This was hilarious! Your poor sister must have been mortified. At least the guy’s wife had a good sense of humor about it. And, hopefully, most people in her congregation did, too.

  9. I personally think someone should shove the stick up her xxxx higher so that it holds her ( the old biddy ‘s) nose in the air til she can smell her dirty mind !!!

  10. Pingback: SHOWERING TOGETHER, from | By the Mighty Mumford

  11. Too funny. I’m sorry that your sister lost clients, but if people are walking around with a stick up their asses, they’re probably not good for her business anyway. I am severely allergic to people who have things stuck up their asses such as bugs, sticks, etc.

      • Very funny, and it’s good the boss and his wife could laugh about it.

        I was brought up in the Church of England (Episcopalian) though I’m now a Quaker. I used to go home at Christmas and go with my mother to midnight communion. One time they’d got a new church organ. This woman who was some kind of lay functionary and who had an accent like Mrs Thatcher’s (no, we don’t all speak like that) was giving a speech and said of the organist, “And our special thanks are due to Michael, who’s been struggling for years with a worn-out organ.” I thought I’d maintained control very well, but after the service my mother accused me of having put her on the edge of giggles for the whole service. I suppose I’d made some sort of suppressed snuffle.

    • I was out of town. I don’t know why you are not getting the emails. Maybe subscribe again? I know you can put the URL in your “Blogs I Follow” on wordpress. That’s how I am able to get your posts.

  12. This is too funny! When you said Church of Christ my eyes perked up! You described it perfectly. I always joke about how they think that they are the only ones going to heaven… and a lot of them do have quite long sticks that I think God is pretty sad about… but most of them mean well. I know some great ones! But I work with a bunch of very professional massage Therapists and found this post priceless!

Oh you know you want to give verbal ejaculation a try. Spit it out!