Plight of the Paper Bag

I’m pretty sure what happened was that Tiger Ginobli fell off the back of the horse, but I could be wrong. To be fair, riding a horse in a diaper is difficult, so I don’t blame him.

Continue reading

“The Mother of all Meltdowns”

“When I have kids, they’re going to eat mostly veggies because that’s what they’re going to know.” Yeah, I was dumb.

Continue reading

The Red Pen Murderer

Listen, I am asked to read and edit a lot of work. And when your writing usually sounds like a monkey wrote it while delousing their cooch, and then suddenly you say, “No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”, …

Continue reading

Mad Moms in Minivans

Mostly, my children sacrifice for my sake. My kids know that my (minivan) swagger wagon is what brings all the boys to the yard, so they trash it to make me less attractive. They litter their dirty clothes around the house so that I can make my voice useful and yell. They even break my furniture because they know I love to shop, …

Continue reading