Bite Me!

I had a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach which I was pretty sure was the result of last night’s dinner. But then I remembered my dinner had been Southern Comfort, so that couldn’t be it.

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Plight of the Paper Bag

I’m pretty sure what happened was that Tiger Ginobli fell off the back of the horse, but I could be wrong. To be fair, riding a horse in a diaper is difficult, so I don’t blame him.

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“The Mother of all Meltdowns”

“When I have kids, they’re going to eat mostly veggies because that’s what they’re going to know.” Yeah, I was dumb.

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Sweat Wars

I went over to the corner where they keep the “nobody wants to use the machine because you’re nasty” cleaning supplies, and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror…

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The Red Pen Murderer

Listen, I am asked to read and edit a lot of work. And when your writing usually sounds like a monkey wrote it while delousing their cooch, and then suddenly you say, “No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.”, …

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