You crawl into bed on a warm summer night. The air conditioner is humming a soothing tune as you slowly drift in and out of consciousness. You flip over your pillow to the cool side and you nestle back into your blankets. Out of the blue you remember that you forgot to lock the back door.
With this in mind you roll out of bed to lock the door. Irritated you flounce back into the bed. Now neither side of your pillow is cool. You wiggle around trying to find just the right position. Again you think of waking your partner for…a midnight jockey ride. You decide against it because you know that will start a wet spot controversy. Instead you lay there and count the seconds as they pass.
Soon you’re farting the alphabet out of boredom. Brilliant thoughts come to you. You must write them immediately or they will be lost to the human race forever. Today’s news of Macaulay Culkin’s heroin addiction and the Olympics medal winners replay over and over like a broken record.
Suddenly your brain starts to take over in your weakened state. It is aware you passed on…churning butter. Taking advantage of your pathetic attempts for rest, it starts maniacally laughing. Shuddering, you desperately attempt to distract your mind by thinking about how creepy it would be if people really winked as much as they do in texts.
Your mind coos, “You know, there is a lot we haven’t thought about lately. We are going to think about the Miley Cyrus’ song Party In the USA. Let’s think of the words over and over.” You swear out loud, “Please just tar and feather me! It would be easier!” Your mate rouses for a moment to give you the go to hell look before passing back out.
You finally get your brain to shut the hell up when the whisper comes again. “You know we haven’t thought about in a while? Evil clowns!” The air shuts off and your ears are buzzing with the sounds of the night. Your heart is thudding against your ribs when this image pops out at you.
Then you chuckle to yourself. Why? You know that you have won the battle of wits. After all, you are randy and that clown is looking pretty good after no sleep. “Well played” sighs your Brain.
This is the sort of post you get from Lady or Not when she is still awake at 7:32A.M. because she can’t sleep. At least it’s Friday right? TGIF Y’all!