World Domination

I was asked recently to post about how I would dominate the world using a few items.  I will highlight those items. aka Mr G.

World domination is a goal many strive for, but few can pull off.  With a few easy steps, you too can be on your way to a life on top. Before you start this quest, make sure you have these items on hand:

  • beer
  • onions
  • mannequins (or as Mr. G spells it, manikins)
  • saxophonists
  • Christopher Walken

westboro World DominationNow that you have gathered your supplies, drink your first beer.  This is the key to survival.  Boxed wine and/or Southern Comfort 100 proof are the only two acceptable substitutions; though without beer you will likely fail.  Any other substitutions will end your journey before it starts. Only the aforementioned alcoholic beverages will loosen your morals and allow you to make very bad choices.

After you have consumed your booze, eat some raw onions.  This will make your breath prime for fighting.  If you would like to add a hot dog or sausage to the equation, please do.  Your food pleasure is my pleasure. Make sure to feed Christopher Walken while you’re eating.  Offer him a beer too.

god hates signs World DominationThen look at the list of members of Westboro Baptist Church (they are trying to picket the funerals of the children and teachers) that the hackers assembled. Have a saxophonist teach members to play the saxophone on the sly.  If they refuse, you can use Christopher Walken and/or the mannequin as stand-ins and Photoshop.  If he gets a fever (Walken), allow him to play more cowbell.

Then use Photoshop to make sure each male member’s mouth is full of… any item of your choice.  Then print up posters and post them around your city.  If confronted, blow your onion breath in the WBC member’s face and they will run the other way. Once you embarrass the group into silence, people will beg to be your minions.

sax World Domination What??? It’s a rooster!

The end.



Lady or Not… Here I Come!



World Domination — 67 Comments

  1. Ohhh Becca, thanks for this post.
    Yesterday I was really upset about this whole WBC thing, you know, I’m jealous they are directing their attention to something that is not my people, how dare they?
    Seriously I was pissed, I had written a post about it, extremely political and nasty, then I deleted it,

    • I had to write something but I don’t like to be hateful so this is what I came up with, with the word challenge. I think we can’t fight hate with hate but we can fight them with with our minds and not taking them seriously. I believe Lisa Lampenelli once donated 1000 dollars per WBC person that showed up to picket. If we all did things like that, it upsets them and less show up.

      • I didn’t know that about Lisa, that makes me like her dirty mouth even more.
        I agree, they are a hate group by all means and makes no sense to fight them using the same tactics they use.
        But is so hard not to get upset, specially when you are being attacked as an individual and as a group.

        • Right. You can’t really fight with crazy. There is a movement to try to get them changed into a hate group but you can’t really do that because they are not physically doing anything. (as far as we know) They are for sure a hate group.

  2. Oh, I am right there when it comes to pissing off the WBC at any time of the day, but just when you think they’ve gone too far, they come back at ya with something else. They are scum!

    Great post as usual darling! Oh, and I’ll take a Christopher Walken anytime.

  3. not sure i understand any of this…seems to be a rant of some sort…but world domination? survival? baptist churches? the cultural gap widens.

  4. Since no one’s pointed out the obvious about that last pic, I’m gonna: the guy’s blowing a cock. If you wanna watch a film that… handles those Westburo funyons, find “Red State”.

  5. I am currently working on my plans to take over the world using robots that look like 1986 ere Joan Jett. But I keep having issues with their attitudes. They use their laser vision on each other instead of government officials. The bitches are in need of a reboot; but I can’t bring myself to do it while we are all singing I Hate Myself For Loving You.

  6. Yeah!!! Alcohol-induced inappropriateness!! My favorite! WBC can suck it! Hating them takes too much of my precious time, but those in-breeds disgust me, and how I wish they were associated with a state other than my Kansas!

Oh you know you want to give verbal ejaculation a try. Spit it out!