Wrapping with a White Girl

ACBWPkqHyHVTcEo 556x313 noPad Wrapping with a White GirlThe other night I was chatting with Jason and I introduced him to the song “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore.  He loved it and said it was way too funny.  I told him I was going to learn to rap like him.  I shouted the lyric, “Damn that’s a cold ass honkey!” This line was followed by laughter from he and my husband.  My husband said that I rapped like a white person and Jason said I rapped like a girl.  What the heck? I sounded street darn it!  I think it was insinuated that Betty White raps better than me. (frown face)

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Not very punny

When I finished pretending to be offended, I waited for Jason to finish what he was doing so I could edit his post.  He looked up to see me wrapping a gift for one of my girlfriends.  He started laughing and said, “You do rap like a white girl.”  Yes it was a bad pun.

If you don’t celebrate Christmas, just think of me getting really frustrated wrapping these gifts. Every year I buy paper that is all glitter (the big red package).  Tape won’t stick to it.  So after attempting to make beautiful packages, I give up. Then I use giant ribbons and bows to keep the paper in place.  One pull on the ribbon of the package and the entire thing will come undone.

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I swear, I was wrapping your gift!

Pro-tip for you lovely gentlemen.  If you ever come home covered in glitter, just tell you wife you were wrapping her gift.  Even if you went to a gentlemens club, she won’t know in the month of December.  It worked for my husband.  Well… he didn’t go to a strip club.  That’s his story and he’s stickin’ to it.

Merry Christmas from my family to yours.  I am going to take Christmas day off from posting.  Blessings to you and yours.  Squeeze any love ones a little bit tighter and remember those that are not with us anymore.

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My back hurts!




Lady or Not… Here I Come!


Wrapping with a White Girl — 72 Comments

  1. OK…This isn’t a funny comment. I just want to say I hope you and your family have a very Happy and Loving Christmas. I hope that Santa brings you all that your heart desires, and fulfills all of your wishes. God Bless you all…
    Muah and Hugs…

  2. I will make a proper comment as soon as I finish wiping all the glitter off. Happy {insert celebration of choice} to you and yours.

    P.S. I look forward to your first music video. I can see “I am dreaming of a White Girl Wrapping” as being a big hit with the homies.

  3. We all know why your back hurts and it’s not
    with rapping, or wrapping pressies either ;) lol
    Okay enough of the jokes, have a really Happy
    and Wicked Christmastime Becca and enjoy :)

    Andro xxx

  4. I like it best when my presents unwrap themselves…
    Seriously, that music video makes me happier than any have since… well, “Jack Sparrow.” Thank you my dear for corrupting me. And a very Merry Christmas… well that’s past… Boxing Day to you. :D

  5. I’ve never tried wrapping with glitter paper, though I have run out of scotch tape. Once I used glue, and once I used duct tape. Nobody seemed bothered by it, but then it’s me and everyone who knows me expects me to be different ;) I hope you and your family and friends had a wonderful holiday!

    • We did. :D Funny people that know me know that i make my packages beautiful. The laugh because they all would use ducktape. They love that I am the one that makes holidays beautiful. Plus I am a kick ass cook. On my husband’s side, his mother is practically Martha F-ing Stewart. I love that she is that way.

      • I wrap presents like shit but I’m a cook ass kick myself, as well as a kick ass cook. (I literally typed cook ass kick as a typo but didn’t change it because it was too funny). :P

  6. Few people take the time to wrap gifts properly. Most people go to the gift wrapping service in malls and these casual workers seldom have any experience in wrapping gifts.

  7. “One pull on the ribbon of the package and the entire thing will come undone.”

    I like the sound of that.

    Belated Merry Christmas, Becca. After my Greyhound trek, I was trapped in the outernet boonies, surrounded by bears, bobcats, armadillos, ooo-possums, raccoons, deer, wild turkeys, cardinals, nuthatches, and titmouses. I have now escaped and made my way back to civilization.

Oh you know you want to give verbal ejaculation a try. Spit it out!