Products:

Ever want to bleed for your country, but didn’t want to risk death? Here is your chance, but only if you’re female.  Wait… isn’t wearing the flag unpatriotic?  I don’t know, but I wish I had found these before Valentine’s so you could have given them to your lady love.  Nothing says I love you more than bleeding on the flag.

Because smiling is so difficult

We all know how difficult it is to smile.  I remember my second grade teacher telling me it takes more muscles to frown than smile.  I don’t care… it takes soooo much work. Now there is a product that is like weight training for your mouth (Get your minds out of the gutter).

In overzealous pet owner news, you can now buy headphones for your cat.  Yes, nothing makes a cat happier than having your dumb-ass music piping into their sensitive ears. People, I adore my pets.  But if you want a child, here is a link to foster care.  I was a foster care child myself. http://www.adoptuskids.org/

In the News:

In tough ass chicks news: Daniela Holmqvist, of the ladies European gold tour, got bitten by a black widow spider a couple of days ago.  She felt a pain in her ankle that was more painful than a bee sting. She looked down and saw a black widow and flicked it away. What does a golfer do when they know they were bitten by a poisonous spider?  They stab themselves with a golf tee and squeeze out the venom and continue to golf. Read more here…

There are really vampires among us.  Really.  A man in Turkey cut himself with razor blades and then drank his blood.  Soon he became addicted to blood as a lifeforce. He had his dad collect blood from blood banks to drink. Read more here…

Video of the week:

One my readers suggested this.  I have shared it with a few of my gay friends, and they said, “Yup, that’s about right.”  I had a good laugh because I feel the same way about vaginas except for mine.  We are great friends. Enjoy.