Today’s real products are brought to you by Sig:
Did you ever have to go to the bathroom and think to yourself… hmm I’m wearing the wrong attire. Worry no more, the Japanese have developed a wearable toilet. While I can give you a photo, the video explains this better.
The website says, “What would you do in a toilet emergency? Go in the woods? Poop your pants? No, a far more civilized way to do your business is to put on this trash bag and squat down on the spot.
Not surprisingly, this emergency toilet comes straight out of Japan and involves pellets that absorb waste and solidify it into a weird, gelatinous goo.
See a demo of the toilet in the video after the break.” (source)
Jason shaved his off… will you?
Want a goatee (aka a vagina on your face) like Lady or Not writer Jason? If so, this is the product for you at the incredible price of $19.99. I can’t figure out how you attach it; I think you might bite down on something while you shave. If you don’t want to use it though, you can just pretend you’re shaving a bushy vagina and save the money. (source)
Are you in a situation like Rod where you have no car to drive and read in? I don’t think that the poor man is the only one in this world because this product couldn’t have been made just for him. It is made to read while your ride your bike. Plus, the price of $14.99 is perfect for anyone that rides a bike because they have no car! Personally, I used it one time in band camp… (source)
In The News:
Boob lovers of the world rejoice! We have always heard that all women should do breast exams every month. Some said that it wasn’t necessary and some said it was, but personally I am a HUGE advocate for it as a breast cancer screening. That said, new research shows that squeezing breasts might be a major deterrent to breast cancer. ”Laboratory experiments showed that applying physical pressure to the [cancer] cells guided them back to a normal growth pattern” said the artical. ”Over time, the squeezed malignant cells began to grow in a more normal and organised way.” So ladies and gents… find a pair to squeeze today! (source)
You can poo gold for only $425.
This was brought to me by Mari… I believe. I forgot to write it down. So please forgive me to whomever told me. You get street cred. Are you still looking for last minute Christmas gifts? Well now you can buy these gold pills that make you poo gold. That’s all I have to say about that.
An apocalypse happened and you’re all dead. Just wanted you to know. You just think you’re reading this post. Hahah the joke is on you! Sorry you ‘re just finding out now.
Sad face.
Video of the week:
This is an old video but as the world has ended it is very much important today.
x,
Becca
Lady or Not… Here I Come!
Funny, I don’t feel dead. Especially my breasts. I keep feeling them just to be sure. Nope, they don’t feel dead either.
LOL hmmm well it was nice of your breast to feel alive. I think they are mean for tricking you to thinking you’re alive.
Damn, my breasts are always leading me into trouble. Those bitches.
But do they lead you into temptation.
And sometimes temptation is quite a pleasure…
Indeed
Hey is this a private conversation or can anyone join in?
lmao
Just kidding, I think
Andro xxx
Anyone
Andro xxx
In the same spirit of ejaculatory irreverence…
1) Did you hear about the new priest? No. He is the one who is investigating everybody else in search of a pedophile. (Since I am Catholic just like Stevie Colbert I can tell Catholic jokes with impunity! He who laughs at his own menda wins!)
2) Did you hear about the Protestant man whose eyelid was ripped-off by a ring during a brawl in the bar one Saturday? Since he was not Jewish, his Jewish physician realized he had an excess of fore-skin. His doctors decided to use a graft from his foreskin to replace his eyelid. Now he is circumcised but cock-eyed! (sigh! Since I am also a student of Kaballah who paternal grandmother was a part of the Polish Diaspora, but whose parents are Pentecostal Protestants, I also get to laugh at both mysticism and fundamentalism!)
I get a kick out your explanations on why you can tell the joke.
Cockeyed I like.
Very happy that the Japanese have invented a receptacle to catch my newly laid golden poo but their timing sucks. I am worried about Rod riding around and crashing into the dead humans trapped in their plastic toilets because he is busy reading ( or trying to stop his kindle/iPad from slipping off the stand). I have always been a big fan of Jermaine’s Stephen Hawking impression (very sexy) and I am pretty sure he used the merkin/goatee shaping device for his role in MIB3. Now, excuse me for slipping out to get SuperGeek to do some breast-squeezing therapy before midnight (when I am sure the apocalypse will finally strike). I don’t have a monkey so he offered to help me out.
LOL See Sasha, I am glad you get me
. I am worried because I don’t have a poo wearing clothes.
WEARABLE TOILET -WHAT AN IDEA?
I know! Insane!
I wake up on Saturday mornings just to read WTF Fridays. Why do you write it on Saturday? And again, the beard shaving products! We gotta stop that.
My favorite WTF Friday post yet!
LOl Thanks Paul. Yes, what is it with everyone trying to get everyone to shave?
I’ll shave mine off, but there will be repercussions– serious repercussions.
It’s hit or miss with the Japanese and the toilets isn’t it? The all-in-one, MegaMode 5000– fab idea… Hefty Cinch Sak, not so much. And I don’t think I would be rooting around in gold-sprinkled gelatinous goo. Remember goo-B-gone? I own stock. I got an OCD thing about goo…
Does squeezing breasts make them bigger yet? No? Still in the test phase?
*This post was written by a ghost*
I thought it would be written by a ghost. I don’t know if it makes them bigger. That might explain my problem with having mega boobs.
I wonder if being a ghost might be part of the problem?
I think you might be onto something. BTW People we know are talking
So I heard
So funny!
LOL were you the one that gave me the golden pills?
No, I haven’t seen golden pills.
hmmmm I can’t remember.
Sorry, I wish it was me, that was cool!
Awww you are cool
Coming from you that is a huge honor. I don’t think I can manage the weight of it
Lite as a feather stiff as a board. (oh remember that game from childhood?)
I was too scared to play it. I would stand w/ my back against the wall and arms crossed over my chest as the other girls played. LOL
LOL that is too funny. Did you ever try bloody mary?
Oh! NO! I’d hide in my blankets anytime I’d think of bloody Mary but I wouldn’t ever even mumble it. I still won’t my kids chant it and freak me out.
I loved scary things.
My family laughs at me. I was and still am a huge chicken yet, I choose paranormal/supernatural as my writing genre. I’ve always loved it but I have to be very careful of how much I let myself read or see. Otherwise I’d be scared out of my mind all the time.
LOL I love that.
Becca, if you husband does not want to perform your breast exam…I will offer my services free of charge…,my wife will fully understand…she knows that I am helping out a fellow friend and blogger… I assure you, I am very thorough at what I do and will not miss any areas. I can even use other instruments on my person other than my hands if needed that have also been found to excite the breast tissue as well…. (you knew that this coming from somebody ..you cannot talk up your ample breasts on a daily basis and not expect this Becca from us degenerates out here in this perverted world of men..:)
LOL I knew I might have an offer or two. I think though, he is plenty happy to handle the tissue himself.
Stefano is a huge boob lover. I’m sure he will be thrilled when I tell him. He will be thankful to you for ever
Men, women, children, and monkeys around the world are thankful to me today.
We may not all be dead in the apocalypse, but the day isn’t over yet! I believe that there’s still time to catch the UFO out of Bugarach, France. We can save money with a one-way ticket…
Ohhh I’ll get right on that.
Then again, it may not matter if the robots use poisonous gases to poison our asses before we get on the ship.
Right those damned robots.
Isn’t a vagina on a guy’s face a good time? Ooo, adult humor. And I’m sure that anyone who reads a book while riding is probably gonna die. Some would say that it’d be their… End of Days. As always, boobs are nice unless they bite. Or have hamburger meat-like chest hair. Or squirt acid milk. I gotta stop watching weird Japanese horror films.
lol I think boobs that bite would be awesome.
I’m sure everyone around you, and that guy who can enjoy yours, feels EXACTLY the same way about biting boobs being awesome. Eggs-act-lee.
I think they do feel exactly the same
And then at least one person won’t be able to feel anything because they don’t have hands anymore.
An adventure?
I never thought I’d have to think of muzzles for breasts, but now I am and I’m sure if dirty pillows had teeth, someone would be making billions right now. Sure, Muzzles for Her© is really just a bra, but folk’ll buy anything if it has a different name.
Fantastic idea. My only worry is boob dental work.
And mouthwash. Milk lurks ’round those parts and can get pretty vile if not taken care of properly. Women would be even better Flamenco dancers since they’ll have built-in castanets.
Because everyone wants to do their business in a trash bag. What does what you’re wearing have to do with anything?
I am not even going to comment on the goatee thing.
Wouldn’t the bike book stand be as dangerous as texting and riding?
Gold poop? What will the think of next.
I agree I can still squeeze my boobies, so i don’t think I am really dead.
You wear the bag darlin’
i have a goatee, but if i thought of it as a vagina i’d be bromancing. i’d never let jasonbites enter canada, so to speak.
LOL Well too late
(wait, you were accidently funny. I won’t tell)
sorry, accidents happen (see gelantinous goo)
shity typo…gelatinous. keep it to yourself.
I practice appropriate border crossing. I’d never want to enter Canada through the backdoor.
I used to strap a Sony Walkman and mini-speakers to my bike when I cycled to work – I did have to look where I was going though! Got some very strange looks LOL
Of course, I didn’t just write that either as I am, of course, dead now!
Right. RIP darlin’
Finally! A way to hold my sheet music when I’m practicing violin while biking.
See, I knew someone would appreciate it!
The toilet story… unbelievable!
The boob story. Could help our sex lives, too.
I know… It needs to happen.
if anyone needs help in the squeezing department…just sayin’…
Yeah..pop a squat at the local mall…real classy
as for having a vagina on my face…that kinda goes without saying…and you can keep the device…
We all need to pop a squat at times.
These are hilarious, just HILARIOUS. Just seeing the man in his black plastic poncho, squatting, makes me laugh. Then looking at his face – you know, we all do ‘a face’ when we go, don’t we? … The Japanese have it ALL covered!
Great post, Rebecca
I don’t make the face. I don’t do that stuff.
thanks!
Have a Great Solstice…even if we are all dead.
You too!
Leave it to the Japanese! Small country, so they have to get inventive. Or they just love making people smile, which is good at this time of year.
Indeed it is.
Hi Becca,
A friend of mine once got stuck in a Japanese toilet…a real one. Thought you might like a link to one. They are super duper! http://www.thefastertimes.com/bathrooms/2009/07/29/where-is-my-japanese-toilet/
Cheers,
Pam
Hahah I love it. I heard Whoopi Goldburg gives them out as gifts.
I’m not sure I want my toilet to be smarter than me!
Watch them become what cause “The Terminator” curse.
Becca,
I’m not sure what cracks me up more, your post, or the comments!! Total riot as always!!
Oodles of love coming your way hon!! Hope you & the fam have a wonderful weekend!
Kyla
Oh both are mucho fun! I am glad to have ya here. You have a fabo weekend. ((Hugs))
1) The wearable toilet would only work if it has a built-in magazine rack.
2) I feel sorry for Jeremy when he sees this one. Given his Katy Perry obsession, he’s going to be awfully jealous of that chimp!
Happy Weekend… and the first of 18 days without students
Ohhh add the rack and you will beat the inventor in Japan.
The trash bag toilets would be good for a really lazy person who wants to watch the big game without having to get up to go to the bathroom–but then I guess a Depends would work just as well. The only reason for gold poo is if a person wanted to show it off to somebody, and I don’t even want to think about how I would react if somebody invited me to go look at their poo. Maybe the goatee thing would hide the total look of disgust. Hope you have a great Christmas, Becca–you’re always such a hoot!
Ewwwww Merry Christmas to you love. ((Hugs))
1. The one and only time I ever needed to use the toilet that desperately, I went in the woods like a proper outdoorsy guy wood. 2. I’m clean shaven and that contraption looks like something from Dr. Who. 3. If Boston bicyclists had that contraption, they would all die, because while they are preoccupied with reading instead of paying attention to the road, drivers certainly won’t be looking out for them any more than they already don’t (yes I said don’t, Boston bicyclists are already dying without that contraption, just a warning to future BU students in particular). 4. I will do what I can to fight against breast cancer. 5. If I could afford $425 to buy pills so I can shit gold, I’d buy gold. 6. I am not dead because I escaped in the Tardis. 7. I love the Flight of the Conchords!!!!!
I’d buy gold too. Anything from Dr Who I reference seems to raise my nerdy cool points. Poor Bostonites. You’re a trooper for helping breast cancer. Maybe that would work for standing in line for a concert? Escaping in a Tardis… why didn’t I think of that. Your coolness points went up for loving FotC.
Awesome, you’re so hot, you’re making me sexist
LOL You must not be sexist. I am a feminist.
lol I’m assuming you know that is also a quote from Flight of the Conchords, I was testing you
oops that’s guy *would, not guy wood, don’t pull any inuendos on me lol
So that is what the japanese
mean by a sacko-poo-poo?
All I can say is that the idea
of crapping in a bag like that
is velly velly stinky indeed
Andro xxx
It is one that your nightmare stories should be made of.
I squeeze my wife’s breast every opportunity I can.
Good man.
I’m not sure I’ve ever done a self exam. It’d be one more thing to google about and think I had another dreaded disease! Funny as usual.
Thanks. Do a self exam
I have a lot of catching up to do on your blog, but I had to take the time to compliment you for not only informing me that squeezing breasts can save lives but also for accompanying that news with an appropriate Katy Perry photo (which might be a homage to my famous blog?). Also, kudos for posting my favorite Flight of the Conchords song.
Awww thanks Jeremy. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas.