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WTF Friday#19 — 98 Comments

  1. Very happy that the Japanese have invented a receptacle to catch my newly laid golden poo but their timing sucks. I am worried about Rod riding around and crashing into the dead humans trapped in their plastic toilets because he is busy reading ( or trying to stop his kindle/iPad from slipping off the stand). I have always been a big fan of Jermaine’s Stephen Hawking impression (very sexy) and I am pretty sure he used the merkin/goatee shaping device for his role in MIB3. Now, excuse me for slipping out to get SuperGeek to do some breast-squeezing therapy before midnight (when I am sure the apocalypse will finally strike). I don’t have a monkey so he offered to help me out.

  2. I wake up on Saturday mornings just to read WTF Fridays. Why do you write it on Saturday? And again, the beard shaving products! We gotta stop that.
    My favorite WTF Friday post yet!

  3. I’ll shave mine off, but there will be repercussions– serious repercussions.

    It’s hit or miss with the Japanese and the toilets isn’t it? The all-in-one, MegaMode 5000– fab idea… Hefty Cinch Sak, not so much. And I don’t think I would be rooting around in gold-sprinkled gelatinous goo. Remember goo-B-gone? I own stock. I got an OCD thing about goo…

    Does squeezing breasts make them bigger yet? No? Still in the test phase?

    *This post was written by a ghost*

  4. Becca, if you husband does not want to perform your breast exam…I will offer my services free of charge…,my wife will fully understand…she knows that I am helping out a fellow friend and blogger… I assure you, I am very thorough at what I do and will not miss any areas. I can even use other instruments on my person other than my hands if needed that have also been found to excite the breast tissue as well…. (you knew that this coming from somebody ..you cannot talk up your ample breasts on a daily basis and not expect this Becca from us degenerates out here in this perverted world of men..:)

  5. Isn’t a vagina on a guy’s face a good time? Ooo, adult humor. And I’m sure that anyone who reads a book while riding is probably gonna die. Some would say that it’d be their… End of Days. As always, boobs are nice unless they bite. Or have hamburger meat-like chest hair. Or squirt acid milk. I gotta stop watching weird Japanese horror films.

  6. Because everyone wants to do their business in a trash bag. What does what you’re wearing have to do with anything?

    I am not even going to comment on the goatee thing.

    Wouldn’t the bike book stand be as dangerous as texting and riding?

    Gold poop? What will the think of next.

    I agree I can still squeeze my boobies, so i don’t think I am really dead.

  7. I used to strap a Sony Walkman and mini-speakers to my bike when I cycled to work – I did have to look where I was going though! Got some very strange looks LOL

    Of course, I didn’t just write that either as I am, of course, dead now! ;-)

  8. if anyone needs help in the squeezing department…just sayin’…
    Yeah..pop a squat at the local mall…real classy
    as for having a vagina on my face…that kinda goes without saying…and you can keep the device…

  9. These are hilarious, just HILARIOUS. Just seeing the man in his black plastic poncho, squatting, makes me laugh. Then looking at his face – you know, we all do ‘a face’ when we go, don’t we? … The Japanese have it ALL covered!

    Great post, Rebecca :)

  10. Becca,
    I’m not sure what cracks me up more, your post, or the comments!! Total riot as always!!
    Oodles of love coming your way hon!! Hope you & the fam have a wonderful weekend!
    Kyla

  11. 1) The wearable toilet would only work if it has a built-in magazine rack.
    2) I feel sorry for Jeremy when he sees this one. Given his Katy Perry obsession, he’s going to be awfully jealous of that chimp!
    Happy Weekend… and the first of 18 days without students ;)

  12. The trash bag toilets would be good for a really lazy person who wants to watch the big game without having to get up to go to the bathroom–but then I guess a Depends would work just as well. The only reason for gold poo is if a person wanted to show it off to somebody, and I don’t even want to think about how I would react if somebody invited me to go look at their poo. Maybe the goatee thing would hide the total look of disgust. Hope you have a great Christmas, Becca–you’re always such a hoot!

  13. 1. The one and only time I ever needed to use the toilet that desperately, I went in the woods like a proper outdoorsy guy wood. 2. I’m clean shaven and that contraption looks like something from Dr. Who. 3. If Boston bicyclists had that contraption, they would all die, because while they are preoccupied with reading instead of paying attention to the road, drivers certainly won’t be looking out for them any more than they already don’t (yes I said don’t, Boston bicyclists are already dying without that contraption, just a warning to future BU students in particular). 4. I will do what I can to fight against breast cancer. 5. If I could afford $425 to buy pills so I can shit gold, I’d buy gold. 6. I am not dead because I escaped in the Tardis. 7. I love the Flight of the Conchords!!!!!

  14. I have a lot of catching up to do on your blog, but I had to take the time to compliment you for not only informing me that squeezing breasts can save lives but also for accompanying that news with an appropriate Katy Perry photo (which might be a homage to my famous blog?). Also, kudos for posting my favorite Flight of the Conchords song.

Oh you know you want to give verbal ejaculation a try. Spit it out!